Monday, November 30, 2009

How to pack on 6 pounds in 5 days - it's super easy!!



For those of you wanting to bulk up this holiday season, (and seriously who doesn't?!) I have found the perfect diet. The cooking is a little labor intensive but so worth the results you'll get. Since I seem to be a little lazy with the blog posts and two loyal readers called me out on it this weekend - I'll share this most awesome diet with you tonight.




DAY ONE


Breakfast - whatever


Lunch - a sandwich with chips


Dinner - Lobster bisque, grill cheese sandwich (snobby, creamy cheese with lots of butter), individual chocolate souffle


To drink - A couple French 75's; wine with dinner and martinis apr`e dinner




DAY TWO


Breakfast - A couple of pieces of Harvey Wallbanger bundt cake


To drink - Harvey Wallbangers of course!


Lunch - some white wine


Dinner - the most fabulous Thanksgiving dinner ever (eaten at 8 pm for better fat absorption)


Brined turkey (22 lb'er to guarantee enough left overs for 6 months)- don't forget that nummy skin because look at the picture of our bird - it looks as amazing as it tasted, home made corn bread/sausage/cranberry stuffing, mashed potatoes, home made giblet gravy, peas, sauted brussel sprouts with hazelnut butter, cheesy cauliflower casserole, bourbon apple sweet potato casserole, pumpkin cheesecake and cranberry torte for dessert.


To drink - white wine and sherry




DAY THREE


Breakfast - Harvey Wallbanger bundt cake


Lunch - skip that and don't hydrate


Dinner - left over Thanksgiving dinner


To drink - martinis & wine




DAY FOUR


Breakfast - nothing you are going to a party later so save your calories


Lunch - Turkey sandwiches on hard rolls w/ chips


Dinner - snack on the snacks at Mr. Neighbor's 40th birthday party. Stay away form the veggie platter concentrating only on the Tyson chicken pieces, assorted sips and chips, taquitos and anything else remotely fatty


To drink - martinis pre- party, wine at the party




DAY FIVE


Breakfast - sleep through it, drag out of bed around 10:30


Lunch - no time, the Training Buddy's are coming over for football


Early dinner - turkey ala king over white rice with toasted cashews and fried Chinese noodles, leftover cranberry torte


To drink - chocolate martini, champagne, copious amounts of white wine as the Dolphins lost




The big bonus of this diet is that there is no exercise involved at all - it is strongly discouraged if you want to experience the full bulk up benefits.


Now that I am filling out my pants again, I have stopped the drinking alcohol for awhile, sticking with water & iced tea and dragging out to walk with Mrs. Neighbor at 5:30 AM. The healthy stuff is going to kill me......

2 comments:

Dolan said...

margy, i laughed so hard, i almost peed my pants at your thanksgiving blog! i still remember, years ago, going with you to the liquor store the night before thanksgiving where you spent $100+ and when I asked "who is coming for dinner" your reply "no one, this is for steve and I. it should get us through the weekend." Priceless. Never change. XOXO - Dolan

Miss Rainy said...

OMG... Hilarious! Better keep writing your blog, cuz now I'm Hooked!!